Nikki: I legitimately think I am hotter than Zoe Saldana
I love I can say
shit stuff like that out loud to you (via gchat) and you don’t judge
or if you do judge you don’t tell me
me: no time for judging when all these songs are about me.
Nikki: omg I LOVE YOU
Later that day:
Back story: old friends-we used to be so cool-we haven’t seen our group of friends in a long time. Needless to say we have all changed-there are more babies, and husbands than diet pizza and swag.
DISCLAIMER: I know some of you might be offended–pls try not to be–this is intended to be funny. Neither of us have kids, so its hard for us to understand the joy of parenthood.
If it helps, imagine this is a conversation between Will Arnett and Christina Applegate.