Another important PSA–for MEN

Dear Men,

On behalf of all the women out there that you make happy daily, I salute you.  To all the loyal men out there, I commend you.  I know that there are men out there talking about “swag and hustle” that make it hard for a legit man like you to make an impression.  On behalf of the women out there that stand for such non-sense, I sincerely apologize.  For all the accountants and software engineers aka “NERDS” that AREN’T “grindin” but actually get up for work on time and understand that hard work pays the bills and that “hustlin” is code for lazy , I applaud you.  The truth is, it’s YOU and (fat bottom girls) that make our rockin’ world go round.

Now that we have pleasantries out of the way, lets get down to business.

This PSA is DEDICATED TO ALL MEN EVERYWHERE THAT HAVEN’T ALREADY FIGURED THIS OUT (this likely means my target market is between the ages of 12-35):

I know that one time at band camp/work/date, some girl/woman/dude told you you smell good (and I do blame him/her for this–I also blame the new AXE commercials).

Do us all a favor moving forward, ONE squirt of cologne.  JUST ONE.  On your wrists or inside your elbows.  A man that smells good is SUPER SEXY.

Scent memories are for real.  PLEASE, I BEG YOU, CREATE POSITIVE MEMORIES (consider this one of your many responsibilities as a man).  Everyone loves to be enveloped in a good man hug, the kind that forces you to breathe deeply and soak it all in.  If we are just dating and I smell your scent walking thru a mall later, I will swoon a little at this memory.  IF you over do it, I will gag.

Every time I smell COOL WATER, I want to vomit.  Not because I ever dated a guy that wore COOL WATER, but because I ONCE had a valet at the Cherry Creek Mall that clearly gargled and bathed and drenched himself in it-consequently making my car smell like this for weeks.  Now that memory is triggered EVERY SINGLE TIME I WALK THRU MACY’S.

ONE SQUIRT.  JUST ONE.  It doesn’t matter if it didn’t seem like it came out, or if the sprayer is broken.  Don’t take the chance.  It’s not worth it-be confident that your deodorant will work instead.

Also, wear sunscreen and eye cream.  I feel badly that the skin care industries focuses so much on women, it turns out that men also have a face and skin….weird.

This image makes no sense here, but it made giggle.

 

This also makes me giggle.  Be advised this will never happen:

Love you, mean it…

Mali

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41 thoughts on “Another important PSA–for MEN

  1. I take slight (and I mean SLIGHT) responsibility in making boys (not men) think Axe and Tag smell good. I was a Tag girl. I MADE them believe they should wear it.

    NOW, kudos to you! I couldn’t agree more. I love my geeks who can have an intelligent conversation with me, but still let me be my inner nerd and giggle for hours. I love my business management/entrepreneur men who can emotionally take care of me and not consider themselves a “CHUMP”. The chumps are the guys that are in their 40s still trolling the bars for the girls in their 20s who haven’t “wisened” up yet.

    My favorite post so far. 🙂

  2. It’s creepy when a guy wears too much cologne. I had a boss that used to do that. It sincerely creeped me out when I knew he had arrived at work because the FRONT of the office where I sat was suddenly filled with his cologne…his office was 3 doors down…behind a barrier wall. THAT’S a lot of cologne. Cough.

  3. Well said. Though many mock, I for one am so happy with the trend towards “manscaping” – I love a man that takes afew minutes (&knows how) to take care of himself!

  4. This is a really excellent post, Malina! Thank you for sharing it with us. It also made me laugh quite hard. I happen to be a user of Axe myself… well not so much anymore. :p

  5. Love this! My dad used to drench himself in Ols Spice unroll I got old enough to tell him to PLEASE STOP! (Don’t know why my mom never said anything…..) meh. This post made me chuckle and you’re right on all fronts.

  6. When I read your blog I have to make sure i wear water-proof mascara because i usually laugh to the point of crying! I love your blog so much! I get excited when i get the email! Haha anyway… Girl, you keep up the good work!:)

  7. Totally agree with this! Love a clean smelling man but the ones that are drenched in cologne make you take a step (or three) back. I’d rather a guy just smell like soap than too much cologne.We should definitely all insist on the ‘one squirt’ rule, lol.

  8. It doesn’t matter if it didn’t seem like it came out, or if the sprayer is broken. Don’t take the chance.

    This made me chuckle 🙂 Good advice, gentlemen, take it!

  9. Hahaha… This is perfect for the start of the day. This one’s a keeper – must show to unborn son in time to come.
    The right scents are sooo important though. I can still remember how old lovers smell. (Fortunately, all good.) And familiar scents still make me turn my head when I’m out in the crowd. Unfortunately, the commuters on public transport aren’t as charming frequently.

  10. There is a young man from Kentucky
    Whose odor is quite foul and yucky,
    He stinks up the place
    He’s such a disgrace,
    With women he isn’t so lucky.

    Compliments of Humerous Interludes

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