1. You know those guys you see sometimes (usually on public transit) with a tear tattoo’d on their cheek? Turns out you can acheive this look at home with just a little sunless tanner and a laugh attack before bed. Today I woke up with a tanned face and my very own tear stain right on my cheek–I’m so HOOD.
**I just checked urban dictionary for the meaning of said tattoo on thug face–I am terrified**
2. On the topic of public transit. Here is a tale of “The Hollywood Crow” as interpreted by me…FORGIVE ME FOR THIS M.
A few years ago, I lived in the ATL. I have mixed feelings about my time here, but some really redic memories of this time that are PRICELESS.
One hot day in the MARTA station, my best friend and I were waiting on the platform all dressed up for a night on the town when suddenly….OUT OF NOWHERE a bird swoops in and ATTACKS/LANDS on my besties shoulder. We obviously panicked. While we are both animal lovers, I FREAKIN HATE BIRDS (I think its creepy how they move their necks and their eyes are weird too…I also don’t like all the flapping around–DRAMA QUEENS.) She was under attack–on more than one occasion I tried to Ninja chop the bird, but I couldn’t seem to get the right angle. This whole attack lasted at least 10 mins…or like a min. All the while she was trying to escape it was flapping and pecking. During the last half of the attack my BFF responsibilities took over and I stopped trying to Ninja chop the bird and started to dig thru my purse searching for the one thing I knew could fix this. When the attack was over my bestie was SO MAD AT ME for not helping more and for laughing. I thought I was being the best WING MAN-pun intended-EVER. While she managed to get the bird away, I had found my hand sanitizer and was ready to commence emergency sterilization procedures. Moral of the story? DON’T EVER LAUGH AT SOMEONE BEING ATTACKED BY A CROW. EVER–even months later–it will always be “too soon.”
3. Since we are talking about Ninjas:
3. Other Tragic Images:
4. This is who I used to be:
6. Yesterday I wrote about the importance of a CONFIDENT smile. Today I was inspired by my own blog and bleached my pearly whites:
In My Professional Product Whore Opinion:
DO IT. I love these. I get more compliments on my teeth than any other part of my body.
Whitening will make your teeth sensitive. No one said pretty was easy.
7. My new FAVORITE BLOG–This girl would be my best friend. I think her accent is SEXY!!
This is where I originally fell in love with her-AND I ran out and purchased the Nars Catus Flower–Stand by for details
8. I am always talking about not having kids. I like kids. I really do. I understand the fulfillment in raising children. I get that. I’m just not sure its for us. We thoroughly enjoy being DINK (Double Income No Kids) right now:) THAT SAID, these two make my clock tick:
9. My BirchBox has been shipped! GET YOURSELF ON THE LIST: BIRCHBOX
10. Last day of the Shellac Experiment:
In My Professional Product Whore Experience:
Not a single chip! Going back tomorrow for new BIRTHDAY WEEK/VACATION COLORS. I plan to do my toes with Shellac too!! I love it. LOVE IT.
HAPPY FRIDAY!!!
so…you didnt kill someone? 😉
LMAO…No, I did however have a bad sunless tanner experience.
Hey Malia…randomly… I got the page for the free Elizabet Arden wrong, it’s page 33, sorry about that I’d ripped a few pages out including the one opposite the Editors letter which on the otherside has a list of all the contacts involved in producing the mag, I hope you can see where I tripped myself up, hope you’re having a great weekend …prswooz
THANK! I TOTALLY GET IT!
I am falling down ( or leaning over heavily) laughing! This was the exact start off to my Friday I needed. Oh thank you so much! The juxtaposition of the images at the end was priceless- LOVED IT
So do we get a picture of your tear “tatoo”??? 🙂
I scrubbed it out as soon as i saw it. I was pretty embarrassed.
LOL! This just made me laugh so hard! I too have achieved the “single tear” tattoo look due to self tanner gone wrong.
This somehow makes me feel better:)
haha your bird story just made my morning!
Thank you for the intro to birch box. Consider me obsessed!!
Also, love your watch. What is it?
K
THANK YOU FOR READING!!! And the watch is Marc Jacobs:) THANK YOU!
The tear thing is hilarious! I love Tanya Burr too, who would not die for those lips of hers? and congratulations on the nail experiment. The only disadvantage is that we are so used to change the shade every now and then, it must be somewhat boring to wear the same color for so long. Do you adapt your daily outfit to the nails for that time or do you just choose your clothes as usual? Nevertheless no chip, no scratches, this is truly amazing!
Umm… the shellac stuff looks awesome! I have been recently looking in to it! How does it actually work??
Love your nonsense! So funny. I nearly peed myself. Thanks for stoppin by my blog 🙂
You make me laugh. Kudos! Thanks for checking out my blog, too.
Love the Birthday Haul image and the cute polka dot toes:)
Thank you for liking our blog and following us! I’m cracking up from this post of yours….I’m from GA and have to consult the urban dictionary from time to time, too. I love the way you described your brush with the bird; I got the clear scenario in my mind—you’re just so fortunate that while your friend was being attacked by that bird that she didn’t fall into the subrails! That would’ve just added insult to injury! lol
That ninja sign is hilarious. I like your blog! Thanks for popping by to mine too:)
3. Other Tragic Images: HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!! I can’t stop laughing. I looked at this blog Friday night, Saturday, Sunday and now today – still laughing at this picture.
6. Whitestrips: Been using these for over 10 years now – LOVE!!!! I believe in them – hell, I’m a spokesperson for them. I have been a walking commercial for them these last 10 years.
Lol, I love that you got a good giggle out of that. I did too. Perception is a funny concept.
I love whitestrips too! LOVE THEM. I love that I get so many compliments on my pearly white grill 🙂
Me too! I actually wrote Crest an email and asked if I could be a teeth model for them. Apparently, they don’t like to use real people who actually use their product – they only use models who have their teeth professionally whitened. Oh well. Still a great product and it WORKS.
Lol, I once was convinced I should be a hand model. Same thing, got a letter saying they used “real models” LAME.
“Yesterday I wrote about the importance of a CONFIDENT smile. Today I was inspired by my own blog and …” is the funniest sentence ever! lolololol!
Reblogged this on Dave Tran Post.